Taking Accident Prone To A Whole New Level Of Stupidity

There are some days when the Universe tries to tell you that you’d be better off to stay in bed.  Today was one of those days.  Sadly, I didn’t listen.

Beau on 9-22-13

Beau on 9-22-13

It started off with a bad night’s sleep.  My cat, Beau or “Bo-bo”, had surgery on Tuesday to remove a mast cell tumor from his abdomen.  So he has been in the oh-so-popular Elizabethan collar – and will have to remain in it for 10 – 14 days.  This has made him the Velcro to my fabric.  Normally, I don’t mind but he kept me up all night with wanting to cuddle, sleep on top of me and occasionally bite me.

This was quickly followed by slamming my bad knee into the corner of the desk in my room as I tried to maneuver around said cat in a desperate attempt to make it to the little girls room prior to my bladder exploding.

Undeterred by these signs of impending doom, I sleepily made my way to my car.  I was gently rubbing some sleep from my eye as I entered the car.  My normally docile PT Cruiser saw her opportunity to strike and as I lowered myself in she thrust the steering wheel outward!  Yes, indeed.  So my elbow hit the steering wheel and jammed my finger deep into my eye (quite hard, I might add)!

Even though no one was around to witness the catastrophic attack, I still sat in the car for several minutes wondering at what point I had turned into a complete and utter idiot ( AKA a Republican?).  Anyway, I go about my business berating – yet assuring – myself that the pain will go away in a little bit.

I got home, sat down at the computer to get some work done and I am still in a lot of pain.  I go into the bathroom in a vain attempt to look at my eye.  (It is a vain attempt because I get a glare off my glasses which prevent me from seeing properly and if I take my glasses off I am so blind that I practically need to have my nose to the mirror and I still can’t see!)  So I have my friend look at it for me and he says that it is quite bloodshot.

Still positive that it will go away shortly, I put an ice pack on my eye thinking that might help the discomfort.  Boy was I wrong!  It made it feel worse.  Finally around 2:30 in the afternoon I have had enough.  The pain is continuing to be quite strong and it hurts to blink or move my eye left or right.  So off the to ER we go.

Now, I really like my local hospital, the staff are really good and often very friendly.  The downside is that they are also usually crowded and you can expect to be waiting for several hours.  However, I finally catch a break and only have to wait for about 10 minutes in the main waiting room and around another 20 once placed in a special eye room in the ER.

Let me share something with you though.  I have done and said a lot of stupid things in my time.  I’m not proud.  But nothing is more embarrassing than having to tell the staff at the ER that you are there because you poked yourself in the eye – and I am including the time I asked a guy (quite innocently) how big his nuts were (a story for another time, perhaps).

IMG_3276Well to make an already too long story short, I burst some blood vessels and essentially “bruised” my eye – see the attractive picture on the right.  The doc said that no serious damage was done and I was sent home with a prescription for antibacterial ointment and told to follow up with my eye doctor.

It took forever to get the prescription filled so it was just prior to dinner time when I got home.  I put the ointment in my eye and took a Naproxen to help with the swelling and a Tramadol to help with the pain.  Then as if to prove that my brain was not firing on all cylinders, after dinner I said to my friend, “I wonder if there was a numbing agent in that ointment because I am feeling a lot better.”  Then it hit me – you took a pain pill, stupid!

Hope your day was better than mine!

Kissy, kissy, snog, snog

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