Forgotten English

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I have run across some words and phrases that are no longer really used in the English language and personally, I think we need to bring them back.

Scurryfunge – “A hasty tidying of the house between the time you see a neighbor and the time she knocks on the door.” Personally, I am quite guilty of this one and never realized there was a term for it.  Although I am not concerned with the neighbors so much as I am the maintenance men!

Married all o’er – “Said of women who after their marriage . . . become . . . miserable-looking.”  LOL we have all seen a few of these beauties, have we not?

Gone to Texas – “An American expression for one who has decamped, leaving debts behind.”  Sometimes abbreviated G.T.T.  In our bad economic time, I think we absolutely need to bring this expression back.  And needless to say I am a hair’s breadth away myself.

And what better way to describe our (American) government post-Kennedy.  Assishness – “Asinine quality; stupidity.”

And a few more that are just plain fun to say: Googer (“the devil”), toozle (to make one’s hair stand on end) and play dikkop (to try to deceive).

I will keep my eye out for any more forgotten english that I feel worthy of a come back.  And feel free to post/comment your own favorite forgotten english words!!

Kitten Rescue

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I have not been able to find a lot of information on this yet, so let me know if you run across something.

Redding Fire Department rescued a kitten from a pipe.  How they found the kitten or even knew where to cut the pipe, I don’t know.  However, the mission was a success!  After a bath and a warm place to sleep, they named her Piper.

Piper was adopted by the local TV news producer who covered the story.

Well done, guys!!

I Think I Need A Fact-Checker, Please

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Ok, tons of people have been writing about this – so I will only take up a little space on it.

Please watch this 7 second video:

Um, wow.  Well, the Duke was born in Iowa – just not in Waterloo.  He was born in Winterset, which happens to be nowhere near Waterloo.  But there was a notable “John Wayne” in Waterloo, Iowa, right?  Yeah, John Wayne Gacy.  Yup, the serial killer.  But even then Gacy was born in Chicago – he just got started on his criminal career in Waterloo.

So, as usual, Bachmann is wrong on all points.  So let’s see if a little visual will help this backward lady fly straight for 5 seconds.

Not this John Wayne:

This John Wayne:

NOT this John Wayne:

THIS John Wayne:

I think I would feel bad for her, if she wasn’t so bloody stupid!!  How did this woman become a House Representative?

Review: ‘Some Like It Hot’

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Billy Wilder’s 1959 classic comedy Some Like It Hot
starts out with a typical in-the-wrong-place-at-the-wrong-time scenario.  His story follows two musicians as they struggle to find work in 1929 Chicago.

Trying to pick up a borrowed car to make it to a gig, Joe (Tony Curtis) and Jerry (Jack Lemmon) witness an incident parallel to the St Valentine’s Day Massacre, this time committed by Spats Colombo (George Raft) as opposed to Al Capone.  The Massacre involved a gang war spilling over into a parking garage, with seven people lined up against a wall and shot.  The central comedy of ‘Some Like It Hot’ is a stark contrast to this serious event in American history.

So what would you do if you were on the run from the mob?  You pretend to be a member of the opposite sex and get an all expenses paid trip to Florida in an all girl Jazz band, of course, complete with heels and wigs.

Lemmon and Curtis turn in Oscar worthy performances (Lemmon was nominated) as Joe and Jerry and then as “Josephine” and “Daphne”.  Once they meet Sugar Kane (Marilyn Monroe), the band’s singer and ukulele player, Curtis creates yet another persona, the billionaire “Junior”, to woo her.

One of the greatest comedic moments in cinema is when Curtis returns to the hotel room after his date with Sugar.  He finds Lemmon euphoric and dancing with maracas after his “date” with Joe E. Brown’s character, Osgood Fielding III.  Lemmon and Brown spent hours learning how to tango for their date scene, but they had an excellent teacher – none other than Spats Colombo himself – George Raft!

There are two major flaws, in my opinion.  The first is Joe’s treatment of Jerry throughout the film.  The character of Joe seems to walk all over Jerry and undermine him whenever possible, from losing his overcoat on a bet at the dog track, to taking “Daphne’s” bracelet and giving it away.  It can be difficult watching such things and tends to impart ill feeling towards a main character.  The second flaw comes in the form of musical numbers.  It appears that one or two could have been cut with no ill effect on the movie itself.  As it is, all action – but most importantly, comedy – comes to a stand still for these numbers.

There is no doubt in my mind how this film came to be a classic.  It has elements of comedy, romance and suspense.  It keeps the viewer engaged.  What of my objections?  Well, I borrow my reply from Osgood – “nobody’s perfect.”

‘Your Highness’ Isn’t

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Since I have been semi-working as a movie reviewer lately, naturally upon completion of any film my companions immediately ask what I thought.  This is exactly my reply when Your Highness ended.  “It was nothing like I thought, I can’t believe it was ever made, and I’m horrified that they left it open for a sequel.”

To say that the trailers are misleading is a devastating understatement.  I can imagine the stricken parents silly enough to bring their children and teens to this movie.  If they were expecting an unrealistic farce and romp through the forest – well, they sure got that in spades.  But it was far from innocent.

I would like to say – in my own defense – that I am not a prude.  I don’t object to watching porn but I at least like to know it is porn before it starts.  And I think that is what – pardon the phrase – rubbed me the wrong way here.  The trailer(s) gave the impression of an adventure movie – although with no basis in reality – one in which an inept person has to try to save the world.  However, in this case that inept person happens to be Pee-Wee Herman.

I would also like to point out that “Your Highness” is in the same vain as ‘Cheech and Chong’ and if you are not a “pot-head” the majority of the “humor” will be lost on you.  The few giggles I was able to get paled in comparison to the number of times I uttered, “Oh hell no.”

I felt a bit queasy when leaving.  Some might say it was the yellow grease I put on my popcorn.  But I say, “No, sir.”

I feel sorry not only for everyone involved in this film – but also their families – to have their name permanently marred by this abomination.  But I also feel bad for my scarred retinas that now require a healthy dose of Winnie The Pooh to recover.

I found it distressing to see someone of Natalie Portman’s caliber involved.  She is beautiful and an accomplished actress winning an Academy Award as well as having 23 other awards and 45 total nominations.  Why is she slumming it here?  And not to mention speaking of a beaver as anything other than a woodland creature.

The final item I would like to point out is this: A penis is not the most aesthetically pleasing item to begin with but then to have a giant half-mast Minotaur penis displayed prominently for the last twenty-plus minutes is also. . . um. . .

All I can say is, “Oh, for fuck’s sake.  Really?”